I am menopausal - I am not incompetent or Menopausal is not my competence?

Nina Kuypers • 13 March 2024

I am menopausal - I am not incompetent or Menopausal is not my competence?

In the tapestry of life, menopause is merely a new thread, not the unraveling of the whole fabric. Consider me, an accomplished professional who finds themselves navigating the intricate roads of menopause. It's a journey marked by hormonal shifts, but it doesn't dim the brilliance of my capabilities. Like many others, it is a testament to the misconception that menopause equates to incompetence.


In the fabric of life, this stage resembles a tapestry where seasoned individuals are like skilled weavers or knitters approaching the next stitch. Instead of frayed-ends, these moments offer opportunities for reflection and redirection. Our experiences and skills, honed through dedication, are like intricate threads. Yet, society often fails to appreciate these accomplished professionals. Losing them due to age-related biases is a setback to progress and innovation. Valuable tapestry is also recognised by the unique threads and variation in stitching. It sometimes may have frayed edges, but this adds to the beauty of the whole and tells an individual story.


Just as diverse threads enrich a tapestry, embracing individuals experiencing menopause and acknowledging their ongoing competence weaves a culture that cherishes every stage of life. Companies that champion diversity and inclusion benefit from a rich array of perspectives, experiences, and skills, creating a workforce that is more resilient and dynamic, like a finely stitched tapestry.


Varied threads interwoven in a tapestry, is crucial to challenge stereotypes and cultivate an inclusive environment where age is celebrated rather than perceived as a limitation. By acknowledging the proficiency of individuals navigating menopause, we not only preserve valuable expertise but also nurture a workplace that thrives on the diversity of experiences. The stitching may change, but the sewing journey endures, with each phase offering its unique perspectives and contributions to the beautiful fabric of our collective narrative.


Just as threads intertwine to create a tapestry, inclusive menopause conversations stitch diverse perspectives together, 


fostering understanding and support. Let's mend societal taboos with open dialogue, weaving threads of empathy, education, and advocacy. Together, let's craft a tapestry where every persons’ menopause experience is acknowledged and respected.


THREADS approach:

T: Trigger dialogue by initiating discussions in diverse settings.

H: Honour diverse experiences by listening actively and without judgment.

R: Raise awareness through education about menopause and its impacts.

E: Empower individuals to share their stories and advocate for their needs.

A: Advocate for policies that support menopausal individuals in workplaces and communities.

D: Drive change by fostering empathy, understanding, and inclusivity.

S: Supportive environments where everyone’s experiences are acknowledged and respected.

by Nina Kuypers 4 June 2025
Inspired by M.Gladwell’s Blink, where he explores the power of rapid cognition, those split-second decisions our brains make before we’re even conscious of them. Snap judgments. Thin-slicing. Blink. Gladwell shows how we make instinctive decisions in seconds, often shaped by unconscious bias. It got me thinking about menopause, and how many of us, especially those on the margins, experience it the same way: In a blink, it’s upon us. In a blink, it’s dismissed. In a blink, we’re misdiagnosed. In a blink, we become invisible. For many, the menopausal journey to isn’t just hormonal, it's social erasure. The medical gaze rarely rests gently on our bodies. It scans us through a distorted lens of bias. Gladwell says judgments form before words are spoken, and for Black and marginalised people in healthcare, this rings painfully true. We walk into GP offices, describe symptoms, night sweats, mood swings, brain fog and instead of empathy, we’re handed antidepressants, told to manage stress, or worse, ignored. Not because the data doesn’t exist. Not because the science isn’t there. But because in that blink of a diagnostic moment, assumptions are made. We’re too young. Too strong. Too emotional. Too Black. Gladwell discusses thin-slicing, spotting patterns from thin slices of experience. But what happens when ours are always misread? When our patterns, shaped by different cultural, genetic and historical contexts, don’t fit the dominant model? Menopause in a blink for Black and marginalised people is not just biological. It’s biopsychosocial. It’s racialised. You blink, and the GP assumes you’re exaggerating. You blink, and your night sweats are mistaken for type 2 diabetes. You blink, and your hair loss is blamed on “Black hair practices.” You blink, and someone says, “We didn’t include you in the trial, you’re hard to reach.” This isn’t just about medical oversight. It’s structural bias, baked into the assumptions clinicians make in those first two seconds. And it doesn’t stop at the clinic. It follows us into the workplace, into research, into policy. But blink again. And we’re still here. We’re building communities, creating safe spaces, demanding culturally sensitive care and holding the system accountable for every biased blink that caused pain, confusion, or delay. Blink reminds us first impressions carry weight. But for those of us whose health has been shaped by being misread, we’re taking back the narrative. Slowing the blink. Speaking up when a doctor’s eyes skim over us. Gladwell was right: the blink holds power. But we’ve learned to stretch that second into a rebellion, to plant our feet and say: “Look again.” Because menopause is not invisible. And neither are we. If you’re a clinician, pause and listen. If you’re a patient, know you’re not alone. If you’re an ally, amplify our stories. Together, we can make every blink count, for empathy, for equity, for visibility.
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The analogy of a “picture in a frame” is about how we perceive and address menopause in society. The frame represents the surface-level or dominant narratives - often shaped by limited perspectives, like those of the majority population, particularly white middle class women in this case. , and identities. 
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